The cult appliance Thermomix, see-through swimwear, and peanut butter Tim Tams with no peanuts, were among the products that infuriated consumers enough this year to snag a Shonky Award.
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At a mock awards ceremony held in Redfern on Tuesday, consumer advocacy group Choice bestowed Australia's most unwanted gongs on companies peddling "sneaky, slippery, unscrupulous and sometimes unsafe" goods and services.
Fake cash was "blended" in Thermomix's all-in-one TM31 appliance to demonstrate how many unsuspecting shoppers felt the worth of their new high-tech machine went down the gurgler with the release of the TM5 model.
Thermomix launched the TM5 in September, its first in seven years and priced at just $50 more, without any warning.
What made Thermomix a definite "winner" of a Shonky, said Choice's chief executive Alan Kirkland, was the company's attempts to temper consumer fury with small discounts and offers of free bowls and blades. "They should have offered refunds or replacements."
On the financial front, the Commonwealth Bank, dubbed "conbank" at the awards, collected two Shonkys. It earned one for lobbying to loosen financial advice protections, while rolling out a slick PR campaign to reduce damage from a financial planning scandal that trashed the dreams of thousands of mum-and-dad investors.
"This twisted corporate logic defines what the Shonkys is all about. Saying one thing to the public and doing the opposite when they think no one is looking," said Mr Kirkland.
Its subsidiary BankWest was also slammed for offering a 12-month teaser rate of 5.75 per cent on its Kids Bonus Saver account, when it would later sweep all but $1 into a low-interest account paying just 1 per cent for amounts below $3000.
Also affecting children was the S26 powdered milk. It was shamed for its dubious marketing goal of "keep[ing] mums buying with our extended range of nutritious milk drinks".
Choice criticised the baby formula maker for encouraging parents to stick with the line of products when health experts recommend slowly shifting kids to solids after they turn one.
The crowd munched on peanut butter-flavoured Tim Tams as Arnott's was announced as a Shonky winner. The peanut version is two slabs short despite being the same price, and strangely free of peanuts.
Arnott's responded by saying its Tim Tam bakery does not handle nut-containing products. "We did not want to introduce this serious allergen due to the risk of contamination to other Tim Tam products."
In time for the warmer weather, Choice labelled Kmart "un-Australian" for flogging "self-destructing" swimwear that turned see-through when soaked. The award was presented in front of an overhead projector image of Prime Minister Tony Abbott frolicking in the surf in his infamous budgie smugglers.
The Kmart product label also warns consumers to avoid "excessive contact" with suntan lotions, oils, rough surfaces, heated pools and spas treated with harsh chemicals.
"This is something that drives consumers mad - a product that you can't use for the purpose that you bought it for," said Mr Kirkland.
The e-commerce giant Amazon received a Shonky for boasting that its Kindle Paperwhite could last eight weeks with a single battery charge. The fine print, however, reveals that this is the case if the e-book reader is used for 30 minutes a day.
The ninth annual Shonky Awards attracted a record 1041 nominations, which, Choice says, shows the high level of consumer concern about poor quality products and services.
"The risk of receiving an infamous Shonky encourages businesses to sharpen up their act and put consumers first," said Mr Kirkland.
LIST OF SHONKY "WINNERS"
- Commonwealth Bank
- Arnott's Tim Tam (Peanut Butter Flavour)
- S26 Gold Toddler and Junior
- BankWest's Kids' Bonus Saver account
- Thermomix/Vorwerk
- Kmart Swimwear
- Amazon Paperwhite Kindle