As the final months of last year rolled into the start of a new one John Murphy started his new life.
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Once one of Maitland’s most prominent businessmen, John had packed up his life to embark on a personal voyage.
“We wanted to create a new life,” John said of his plans with partner John Gilius.
“Instead, however, it’s been a nightmare year and we’ve been thrown into the deep end.”
A month after the couple’s move to the Blue Mountains John became increasingly unwell, something he attributed to simply being busy.
“In the beginning I was just so tired but then I was also getting sicker and sicker until the point came where I couldn’t get my head off the pillow,” he said. “John would go to work and when he came home I’d be lying there virtually unable to move.”
Initially, it was thought John had glandular fever, but the actual diagnosis was a lot more sinister.
“I have pancreatic cancer which is one of the worst ones you can get because it is so aggressive,” John said.
“At the moment we’re trying to shrink the cancer with chemotherapy [the growth had grown so big it had blocked his bile ducts] so it becomes operable.
“If the doctors operated now it would be a death sentence. Having said that I believe the surgery to remove the cancer is horrendous anyway.”
Up until January, John, 58, had enjoyed good health. Sure, he had weathered more than a few storms, emotionally, but physically he remained robust.
“I was perfectly healthy up until the start of this year,” John said.
“But to be honest, all of my siblings have had cancer – two of them have died from it – so when I got sick this diagnosis wasn’t exactly the last thing on my mind.”
The prognosis for pancreatic cancer is poor as it is most diagnosed at an advanced stage and there is no routine screening test for the disease.
In 2011, 2416 people died from pancreatic cancer in Australia –
representing more than 5 per cent of all cancer deaths.
“Unfortunately, pancreatic cancer is fairly common and it’s known as the silent killer because usually by the time you find out you have it it’s already well on its way,” John said.
About 3000 people are diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in Australia each year and most of them die.
“Until it actually does something else to you, you just don’t know it’s there. You might feel a bit tired but you blame the symptoms on everything else.”
John appears liberated while delivering his somewhat heartbreaking story, but he acknowledges the pain felt by those he loves.
“Everyone’s reaction is you’ll be right, you’ll get better, but this
cancer only has a 6 per cent cure rate so, in a way, you’re clutching at straws hoping you’ll be one of the 6 per cent, but knowing full well that you probably won’t be,” he said.
“And that’s been the hardest thing to deal with, for my family, my children [David, Michelle and Tristan] and my friends.
“I think I went into this with a good head space and I’ve dealt with it quite well, but you never really quite deal with it. You’re always still hoping you’ll make it.”
John has decided to share his story to raise money and awareness for the Cancer Council.
“You just don’t realise until you go through it just how much services like the Cancer Council do for people and this organisation relies on donations,” he said.
“I urge everyone to do what they can for this service because you never know when you’ll need it.”
In the next couple of weeks John will find out if his cancer has shrunk or stayed the same.
“Then everything will go back on the table,” he said.
Until then, much like every day this year, John and John continue to take one day at a time.
“This has shown me that I am a lot more adept at coping with things and that I have the ability to power through the sickness,” John said.
“But it’s also forced me to look back on my life in a more philosophical way. I used to work so hard and I now realise that pushing yourself to those limits doesn’t really change all that much. Things happen and you’ll deal with all of it.
“The big gas bill or whatever is not as important as you think it is, whereas having family and friends around you, that’s everything.”
And there you have it, John’s unexpected silver lining in the dark cloud of cancer.
“The nice thing about cancer is that it changes your whole outlook on life. If you think you have 30 or 40 years ahead of you, you put the good stuff off, but I won’t do that,” he said.
“I don’t have any money to really do the things I want, I’ve lost it all, but you can still manage to do good things and that is lovely.
“My lifestyle is so different now and I wouldn’t change it back for anything.
“I used to think so differently. But I now realise that the things I used to care so much about ... well I don’t care about them at all.”
* To make a donation to the Cancer Council phone 8063 4100 or visit www.cancercouncil.org.au.