In that time when the flood of muddied oafs has receded, and the tide of flanelled fools has not fully engulfed all, it is time to take pause, to survey the sporting world, and to work out who’s who in the zoo, and just whether their stocks are rising or falling.

Yes, sports fans, I know it. 

You know it.

It is time to put our strutting colleagues in the business section of this paper in their place. 

They are not the only ones who can throw out advice on whether to buy or sell.

Here in the sports section, it is time for our annual look at the "Sporting Sharemarket" and our esteemed advice as to whether you should buy, sell, or hold.

Michelle Payne. $11 now. BUY, and buy BIG. As I said in my column on Saturday, having met her, I get just how big a star she is going to be. It might be that ­riding her horse to a victory in the Melbourne Cup is just the beginning.

Steve Smith. $12. Hold. Yes, if you’d got in two years ago, and bought at $4 or $5 you’d be sitting on a fortune right now. But as he is already Australian captain, and already acknowledged as a brilliant batsman, there’s not a huge amount of growth potential. You’re not going to lose money on him, but the point is, there is not unseen value there.

David Warner. $9. Hold. As above. He’s a genius batsman. Everyone knows it. How much better can he do, and surprise us? I don’t think much.

Jason Sangha. Buy. 15c. Nobody knows about him yet, but the classy right-hand batsman from Newcastle, who is just 16, will be HUGE in just a couple of years. Get your money on now.

Mitchell Johnson. $2. Buy. Yes, I know he’s retired. But these days blokes like him can go on, and on, and on, anyway, in the IPL and all that. He still has a magic name, and will still be earning big, four years from now.

Jarryd Hayne. I’m afraid he’s a sell. His shares have already fallen from a high of $20 just two months ago, to $3 now, and they are still falling.  His whole "live the dream thing" has been a fabulous ride for us all, and there is still a tiny chance he can turn it around and live that dream once more. I admire his gumption. But we are business people here. We are making decisions on cool calculations, not taking a punt on you and your heartstrings. I want him to succeed. You want him to succeed. But right now the NFL has had a really close look at him and said, NO. Wait till he falls to $2, at which point he’ll sign for the Roosters, and you can double your money overnight.

Lauren Jackson. 50c. Buy. Great speculator. Yes, she’s 34 years old, and been involved in more operations than Charlie Teo – ‘cept she’s been on the receiving end of the knife. But, she’s still a champion, still going after participating in her fifth Olympics at Rio, and if she can just get her body right one more time, she will be huge!

Ellyse Perry. $4. Buy. The dual soccer/cricket international has just been named the most outstanding woman in Australian sport.  And yes, she is known, but you will find that women’s sport generally is going to get much bigger in the next five years, and her share price will rise with it.

Rugby. $10. Buy. The World Cup has proved the point. This thing is now big-time global. When you have 25 million Japanese watching their side take on Samoa, after the Cherry Blossoms BEAT the SPRINGBOKS, you know it is big-time. This next Super 16 will see teams from Japan and Argentina playing, and people will flood to see them. Rugby has had a rough decade in Australia, but it is coming back.

Rugby league $30. Sell. Crowds fell away last year. It is fine, as a game, and you and I like watching it. I’m just not ­convinced there is hidden value there.

AFL. $35. Buy. Solid stock. They’re superbly administered, they now seem to have Rupert Murdoch putting serious corporate grunt behind them, and never forget they put something in the water of AFL fans that just turns them crazy. I would get shares in GWS Giants, too. They are on the rise. Any shares you have in the Gold Coast Suns, you may as well give them away – a shambles.

Domestic soccer. $15. Hold, I guess. The sport has come an awful long way in the past 10 years and no doubt about it. It remains to be seen how it will go.

The Socceroos. $20. Buy. The build up to the World Cup has begun. Winning it is the last frontier for Australia. If our blokes even get to the pool of 16, you’ll get your money back three times over.  

Squash. 5c. Sell. You poor fool. I told you to sell a decade ago, when the shares were $1, and now look! Down to just a few cents. It’s over.

Lawn bowls. 4c. Sell. See above. Across the country, you see once proud lawn bowling clubs closing down.

Ben Simmons. 45c. Buy big. He’s an Australian, he plays for Louisiana State University Tigers and he is about to be one of the top picks for the NBA Draft. Plays as well as Andrew Bogut, but you don’t have to try so hard to really like him!

That’s it.

Good luck. If you make a fortune, don’t forget where you got the good oil. If you lose the lot, don’t forget I told you: it’s a funny game, sport ...