The East Branxton teenager describes her dad Shane Gillan as a man who was immensely proud of his four children – he lived for them – so why would he leave them?

It is the question Hayley has struggled to answer every day since her father’s tragic death more than a month ago on Nelson Bay Road.

Mr Gillan, who was 39, was drink-driving when he ran off the road on July 21 at Bobs Farm, crashing into a light pole.

Hayley has bravely shared her story as part of the Newcastle Herald’s Lives on the Line campaign, in an effort to make a difference on Hunter roads, which have claimed the lives of 40 people this year.

The 14-year-old Singleton High student can’t help but feel angry with her father.

He was everything to her.

“When we heard what happened, Mum went numb, she said her blood went cold, but I just felt lonely,” Hayley said.

“It’s just like, what were you thinking?

“So many times you said ‘she’ll be right, I’ve done it before’ – but it only takes that one time.

“It’s unbelievable when someone so big in your life leaves you like that.”

Hayley said her father – who had served with the Army in East Timor – battled inner demons and regularly turned to alcohol.

Even though he was getting better, he still had a “carefree” approach to getting behind the wheel.

“It’s the Australian stereotype,” Hayley said.

“Even though he drank and drove many times before, it just takes the one time to mess up.

“You don’t think it’s going to happen until it happens to you.”

Hayley wants to remind all drivers the senseless loss isn’t worth it.

“To any father, or any other minor or any other young teenager thinking about getting in the car with someone drunk: think about your kids, or the kids you want to have,” she said. “You will lose all of that – just because you were stupid, just because you weren’t listening.

“We watch the news, we see the statistics – but we don’t pay attention. 

“A car is a deadly weapon.”

Hayley said the pain of losing her father was permanent.

“There will always be this patch that is missing,” she said. “The thing with my Dad, and I tell everyone this, we weren’t father and daughter – we were best friends.”