Australia’s postal survey on same-sex marriage has been a challenging time for members of the local LGBTIQ community. We were contacted by a local counsellor who works closely with young LGBTIQ people, but cannot give her name due to confidentiality reasons. She compiled this story.
The marriage equality survey has been challenging for members of the local LGBTIQ community. This has been particularly the case for the young people in our area and local services have reported a significant increase in demand for their services in past weeks.
Subscribe now for unlimited access.
$0/
(min cost $0)
or signup to continue reading
The Australian Medical Association Marriage Equality Report states that people who identify as LGBTIQ have poorer health and the highest rates of suicide of any population group in Australia. This can largely be attributed to inequalities and discriminatory structural practices as well as feelings of exclusion and rejection.
Robyn O’Dell from the Benevolent Society says: “It is important for the young people in the LGBTIQ community to understand that this is about fair and equal rights as human beings, no matter what your preferences are in a partner.”
Atlas*, a 19-year-old transgender man spends a lot of his time supporting members of the trans community and trying to improve people’s understanding of what it means to be transgender.
“It is like your mind and your body do not agree with each other. You literally want to rip your skin off,” he said.
Atlas came out as a transman two years ago, but has known since he was a child that he was a boy, contrary to what was written on his birth certificate. His life was particularly challenging during puberty and resulted in significant mental health problems.
“I felt like I was going crazy and started to self harm and use drugs and alcohol when I was 12 to try to deal with what I was feeling,” he said.
For Atlas the pressure of being a boy stuck in a girl’s body and dealing with family and school pressure to conform, became too much and he tried to take his own life.
Spencer*, a 14-year-old transgender male has faced similar challenges.
“Gender dysphoria (profound dissatisfaction) is one of the hardest things for trans people to deal with,” he said.
“You look at your body and see the wrong parts and this causes self-hatred.
“Transitioning at high school where everyone knew me as a girl was incredibly tough. I experience a lot of harassment.”
Spencer has trouble sleeping and has contemplated suicide. For Spencer, people calling him by his birth name, using the wrong pronouns and mis-gendering him, along with dealing with abuse from peers, all negatively impacts his mental wellbeing.
Ms O’Dell says that when society has negative comments about how a person identifies it impacts on the health and wellbeing of our young people.
Both Atlas and Spencer say that the reaction from family and their acceptance is vitally important.
“Having accepting parents and friends always makes transitioning a lot easier,” Spencer said.
“I came out a year ago and it has not been easy. My dad has learnt a lot and been really accepting and understanding, but mum continues to insist that I’m her daughter, when really I’ve always been her son.”
When Atlas was released from hospital after his suicide attempt, he left his family and moved in with another family who accepted him as a transman.
“Having that acceptance and support is the best feeling in the world,” he said.
Atlas found that working with a child and adolescent psychiatrist was also helpful.
“She did not judge me and used male pronouns, showing me complete support and acceptance,” he said.
“The one thing she said that has stuck with me ever since was: ‘Don’t lose your life to a fight you can win!’”
Kurri youth support worker Michelle Bailey says young LGBTIQ people need to know that they have support within the community.
“It is my hope that a ‘yes’ result on the postal survey will help to de-stigmatise same sex marriage and partnerships and let young LGBTIQ people know that their unions are not less than anyone else’s. It is a human right that should be afforded to all,” she said.
Spencer found that while dealing with negative reactions from community continues to be tough, being true to yourself far outweighs the negatives.
“The main message I want to get out there is that it is okay to be exactly who you are, to be your authentic self and you will always find people who will love and support you,” he said.
Youth cancer charity CanTeen also recognises the additional challenges faced by LGBTIQ youth when cancer impacts their life or that of a loved one.
“CanTeen supports all young people affected by cancer regardless of their race, religion or sexual orientation. Cancer does not discriminate and nor do we,” a CanTeen spokesperson said.
Atlas has accessed the support services available in our local community and at 18 legally changed his name and started hormone therapy.
With his voice deepening, facial hair growing and plans underway for further physical transition, Atlas is feeling incredible.
“When I look in the mirror now, I’m so much happier and confident in myself. I can see a future with my girlfriend who has supported me more than any other person in this world and I would like to legally marry my bride and soul-mate,” he said.
- Headspace Maitland: 4931 1000
- ACON Hunter: 4962 7700
- Lifeline: 13 11 14
- Kids Helpline: 1800 55 1800
- Beyond Blue: 1300 22 46 36
* Names changed.