For Paul Gray, the national apology to child sex abuse survivors was about recognition.
Subscribe now for unlimited access.
$0/
(min cost $0)
or signup to continue reading
“It’s recognition that this sort of stuff happened to you, that you were abused and recognition that you were vulnerable and people took advantage of you,” he said. “Someone has said ‘hey we believe that and we’re going to actually say sorry’.”
But for Mr Gray, who travelled to Canberra for the apology, along with fellow Hunter abuse survivor Peter Gogarty, while the apology was heartfelt and important, it needs to be acted on.
“I came away from it pleased that they’d acknowledged the amount of suffering and that people weren’t believed,” Mr Gogarty said.
“What really moved me was they were talking about so many examples from so many different people and yet I think for a huge proportion of survivors, it would have sounded like their own personal story.
“But I still have the same reservations about making sure this doesn’t happen again. It was a momentous acknowledgement, we just have to make sure we do learn from it.”
Both men agreed the National Redress Scheme needed improvements and both want harsher penalties for concealing abuse.
“There is a real risk of falling back into a position where we’re trusting institutions, that they’ve learnt their lesson,” Mr Gogarty said. “That trust has been betrayed before and we can’t afford to rely on their word for it now.”
Mr Gray however was optimistic about seeing change due to the awareness created by the Royal Commission and the apology.
“This is a world issue, everyone is looking at us,” he said. “When something is so intense that it actually steals who you are as a human being, then those sort of things need to be addressed.”
While he was initially dubious about the sorry after receiving an apology from the church that “wasn’t heartfelt” Mr Gray said he felt the day was worthwhile.
He said he was particularly moved by the decision to apologise to all abuse survivors, not just survivors of institutional abuse and the fact an empty chair was left to honour those who have died after suffering abuse.
“It did hit the right note,” Mr Gray said.
- Related: Victim welcomes apology
“Scott Morrison’s words were great, he got emotional when he mentioned his children. But Bill Shorten – he actually spoke to us. He actually spoke to how we felt and our aspirations for change and respect.”
Mr Gray said the real standout though was Julia Gillard, who started the Royal Commission.
“When she came into the room, I got to shake her hand and thank her,” he said. “That was a very special moment for me.”
Mr Gray also got to catch up with the Royal Commission chair Justice Peter McClellan, who heard his testimony face to face.
“To be able to meet him again and give him a hug and see the compassion and empathy in his eyes – it was like a full circle for me,” Mr Gray said. It was good closure.”