OUT at sea, Margaret McNaughton had been weeping on board HMAS Newcastle, as she contemplated what lay over the horizon.
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But once the Newcastle sailed into Sydney Harbour for the last leg of its final voyage on Friday morning, the tears poured down the former Lady Mayoress' face. Then the ship's commanding officer, Anita Sellick, began reading a valedictory poem over the PA system.
"After 25 years of serving the fleet/It's time for Newcastle to make her retreat," began Commander Sellick, a Novocastrian who had grown up in Merewether.
And with those words, Mrs McNaughton's tears were accompanied by quiet sobs. "It's a process of grieving," Mrs McNaughton had explained earlier.
After all, as the wife of Newcastle's then Lord Mayor John McNaughton, she had been there when the ship was born. She was the "launching lady" in 1992. She was there when it was commissioned the following year. She was there whenever the Newcastle visited its namesake city. She was on the wharf when the Newcastle returned from operations. Margaret McNaughton loved this ship, and she adored all who sailed in it. And now her ship was within sight of the Royal Australian Navy's base at Garden Island, and the end of its RAN service.
"It's the end of a magnificent era," Mrs McNaughton said.
Commander Sellick had invited John and Margaret McNaughton to sail on the Newcastle for the overnight voyage from Eden, on the NSW south coast, to Sydney.
The Newcastle's last night at sea was Margaret McNaughton's first time to sleep on this ship, so she was both excited and sad.
"I get goosebumps when I see my ship, with "06" on it," she said. "This is really emotional. I think it's really all the people I've met on board, who I've bonded with."
Also on board for the final voyage were four former commanding officers of HMAS Newcastle. While each of them may have commanded the ship, they were in no doubt as to who ruled the Newcastle.
"When you get command in the navy, it's your ship," said Commander Steve Hamilton, the Newcastle's fourth commanding officer. "The very last words my predecessor said to me was, 'Hey, you know how you think it's your ship? Well, you're just borrowing it from Margaret for a while'.
"Of the 19 ships I've served in in the navy, there's never been such a close relationship with the ship and the city, and Margaret is key to all of this."
"Margaret is a force of nature and the single most important entity in the entire history of the ship," said Commodore Justin Jones, the Newcastle's 11th commanding officer. "She's the constant. Crews come and go, COs come and go, but she's always been there."
The former commanding officers recalled how the Newcastle had always had a welcoming culture and good crews. That hadn't changed, they reckoned.
"I'm thrilled to see the culture going from strength to strength," said Commodore Gerry Christian, the ship's seventh commanding officer.
"The command I had of Newcastle is the best job I ever had in the whole navy," said Commander Hamilton, who was in the RAN for 30 years.
"She's going, but at least we've had her in our lives," Captain Nicholas Stoker, the ship's 10th CO, said of the Newcastle.
The ship's farewell poem also had a connection to Margaret McNaughton. Its author was Matthew Newman, a 23-year-old sub lieutenant on board. He wrote it while on the bridge the previous night. "I whipped it up on the watch," he said. Sub Lieutenant Newman had grown up in Adamstown Heights, and his grandmother was a friend of Mrs McNaughton.
The ship would be officially decommissioned on June 30, but Commander Sellick, the ship's 16th CO, was keenly aware of the significance of this moment of bringing in the Newcastle.
"There was a sense of finality, that this was the last time, and that was part of respecting the history of the ship," Commander Sellick said.
Hundreds of family members waited at Fleet Base East 5 to welcome home loved ones, and to acknowledge the Newcastle was back in its home port after more than four months away. Although there was one on the ship who would never see it that way. "She's only been renting out space here," said Margaret McNaughton, as she slid out of the navigator's chair on the bridge. "Her home is Newcastle."