"You've got all the gear ... but no idea."
As far as cricketing sledges go, it's not bad.
It was directed towards real estate principal Tim Peters by his nephew Martin Creigh, following Peters' rather surprising decision to return to the cricketing field last season after a not-insignificant break of 40 years.
Before last season his previous match was with the Lochinvar under-16s.
Now, with the new season due to kick off for his D-grade Old Victoria side this Saturday - "we play SMR at SMR" - Peters can't wait to go around again.
After last season's return, surely he's scratched that itch by now? Think again.
"I've always loved cricket, but when I was a teenager I wanted to work at the then Bullens Supermarket at Rutherford on weekends so I could buy some cattle for our family property at Lambs Valley as my first business venture," he explained.
"Then I got into real estate and for the next 37 years that took up my Saturdays. But I'd drive past cricket grounds and think how much I'd like to be out there again."
With a couple of trusted staff there to do the weekend work these days in Lachlan Doyle and Jaide Van Wick, he is now in a position to take Saturday afternoons off for his long-delayed passion - although he is quick to point out that is someone needs to see him on a Saturday, real estate will always comes first.
"I'm an off-spinner and I do my best with the bat," the 57-year-old said.
For the record he had best bowling figures of 2-for last season - bowlers can only bowl five overs each in the 30 over format - and while he was hardly a run machine, he did manage four not outs "holding up an end".
He's one of five 50-plus players in the Old Victoria team, which clearly takes the 'old' in their name very seriously.
"All of us old guys went to the SCG last season to watch a day of the test between Australia and New Zealand ... it was a great day," he said.
So, with rising temperatures meaning a lot of 40C days in the field, any regrets about the comeback?
"There was a day down at Raymond Terrace last year when it must have been 43 or 44 degrees and the ground is a heat bowl, that really tested us," he admitted.
Any niggling injuries? Groins, hammies perhaps?
"Not yet, although in practice one day I was facing one of our first grade fast bowlers in the nets and the ball hit the shoulder of the bat and flew up and hit me in the mouth. Fortunately I didn't need to see the dentist, but next day I bought a helmet."
Hence, the 'all the gear' sledge.
Did he say anything back?
"I used the famous sledge used by James Ormond to Mark Waugh in an Ashes Test - "At least I'm the best player in my family."
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