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Bruce and Dennice Gregory of Tarro belong together. The loving couple, whose previous partners died within weeks of one another, met while attending a retreat for parents caring for their adult children.
They have devoted their lives to caring for Mrs Gregory’s son Brett, 43, and Mr Gregory’s daughter Leanne, 42.
Brett has an intellectual disability and mental health issues and can’t be on his own.
Leanne has epilepsy and an intellectual disability.
“I was lonely and sad before I met Dennice,” Mr Gregory said.
“She asked me to dance, I didn’t know how, but she showed me rock and roll, and we haven’t stopped dancing since.
“There are two less lonely people in the world.”
She wore a red dress and a huge smile on their wedding day in October last year and they had a rock and roll-themed ceremony, complete with a red Mustang.
Caring takes up every minute of the day for the Gregorys.
“We have to think about everything for them [their children], everything they do, we have to watch and make sure they are OK and safe.
“It’s the same as caring for a small child. Their age has stopped.
“They have to be overseen and monitored all the time.”
Getting a break can be an ordeal for the couple.
“If we want to plan a holiday for the two of us, it takes three months preparation to work it out,” Mrs Gregory said.
“It is such an effort to take the four of us away, it is exhausting before we get away, I wonder if it is worth it, but we do it.
“But we do manage to get away for a few days, just the two of us, sometimes.”
Brett and Leanne attend day programs and supported work with The Mai-Wel Group.
“Mai-Wel has given us so much support,” Mr Gregory said.
“They love going there.”
Mrs Gregory admits there are times when she is tired and thinks it is too much to handle.
“I have asked myself what I have done to have a child still in my care.
“Sometimes I feel resentful, but this is their life, we have a choice, they do not, they will not get any better, and then I get over those feelings.
“There have been times when we have respite and I spent the whole time worrying about them being OK in another person’s care.”
Mr Gregory has felt guilty at times because parents should not feel resentment about caring for a child, but both say it is normal to have those thoughts at times.
The Gregorys are 66 and 67 and realise their children will have to go into shared accommodation one day.
But for now, they want to spread their message to other carers in the community, and there are plenty of them.
They have taken on the role of new facilitators at Woodberry Family Centre carers support group, run by Beresfield and District Community Care, which offers people a safe place to share their stories and find support.
“Carers need to talk to other carers who understand,” Mrs Gregory said.
“Who else knows what it feels like when your six-feet tall son chucks a wobbly in public.
“It’s like dealing with a toddler again and we have to give rewards for good behaviour.
“We are so fortunate to be together and we want to share that with other carers.”
Caring requires knowing your child, thinking ahead and knowing how your child will react in certain situations.
“Patience, heaps of love and respect for the person you care for – that’s what it takes,” Mrs Gregory said.
“We are so wound up at night when we finally put the kids to bed, we sit up together because we have time to ourselves.”
Mr Gregory has experienced a new lease on life since meeting Dennice.
“She is a good organiser, a big support to me and she is always encouraging.”