Tenambit counsellor Lola Rus-Hartland offers grieving service with a difference

Qualified counsellor Lola Rus-Hartland said her business, Crossings is the only service of it’s kind in the Hunter region.

The experience involves a hands-on way of dealing with dying that supports everyone involved through the transition.

Ms Rus-Hartland said in her native country the Netherlands, death is dealt with a lot more transparently than in Australia.

In the Netherlands she said people, including children, are allowed to see the dead body of their loved one.

“A dead body is not a scary thing, a dead body is just someone who has lived,” Ms Rus-Hartland said.

But the process is about more than just exposure to death, Ms Rus-Hartland said it is important for loved ones to deal with their emotions and have open conversations before the death.

She encourages people to speak about how they’re feeling, settle unfinished business and express their emotions rather than trying to be brave.

“In personal relationships, that can be very difficult,” she said. “But when everything is said and done, people can pass very peacefully.”

Ms Rus-Hartland also believes in a personal process to deal with the washing and preparation of a body for the funeral.

Having been through this process with others and even her own father, Ms Rus-Hartland said it can be of great benefit when dealing with grief.

“Death is always a sad thing but to be able to hold him and say our goodbyes was a very special and beautiful gift,” she said.

She also organises living wakes to farewell loved ones before they die.

Ms Rus-Hartland said her business was about offering choice in dealing with death outside what is commonly presented in society.

“It clearly is not going to suit everyone out there - and that is totally fine,” she said. “What I am about is that people have an opportunity to follow their hearts in regards to having to say goodbye to a loved one and making that happen for and with them.”