Being a non-drinker might just have saved Frank Morgan's life.

Twenty years ago the former Australian Federal Police officer, was in Bali enjoying a few days off from his duties as part of the United Nations' peacekeeping force in East Timor.

It was October 12, 2002 and the then 41-year-old had been in the Sari Club with his colleagues Tim Fisher and Nicolle Haigh in Kuta's busy tourist district.

But it was almost 11pm, Morgan's a non-drinker and he had to fly back to East Timor the following day, so he said his goodbyes and walked 400 metres back to his hotel.

"My first thought was a plane had crashed, because you're reasonably close to the airport and it was this big noise. But the longer it went I thought 'that's not a plane crash'," he said.

He'd only just entered the grounds of his resort when windows started smashing all around him, that's when he looked towards the Sari Club and could see flames leaping up into the air.

READ MORE

His first instinct was to look for the colleagues he'd left at the club. He quickly swapped his thongs for closed-in shoes and was rushing out beside the resort's pool when he stopped.

"This woman came in and she had been very badly burnt. Her clothing had melted onto her," he said.

He laid her on the grass and was putting wet towels on her burns when she died. She was in her mid 30s.

On his way to the Sari Club he heard his colleague Fisher call out, but he was barely recognisable.

He had blood everywhere, his hands were burnt, his feet injured and his ear drums had blown.

Morgan then commandeered a passing ute to take him, Fisher and as many injured people as they could fit into the car hospital.

They arrived at a medical centre, it was chaotic and overrun with people injured during the attacks, and the doctor on duty refused to let anyone else in.

READ MORE

"I did a deal with him to look after Tim. He gave me a big medical kit and shut the doors behind me," he said.

People streamed towards the clinic with horrific injuries - cuts, bruises, shock and burns - and Morgan, who is not medically trained, treated them as best as he could.

When back inside to check on his mate, Morgan came across Australian woman Karen Smith who had a gaping wound on her head.

"Her skull had been shattered at the back of her head," he said. "The doctor put in about 36 staples in the back of her head while I held her hand."

It was all done without anaesthetic. There was none left.

READ MORE:

In those first few hours after the terror attacks, he was contacted by the AFP and UN with lists of their personnel who were in Bali.

Morgan was tasked to check hospitals, medical centres and morgues to look for them.

"My main concern was Nicki because I knew what she looked like," he said.

It was while walking through one of those chaotic hospitals almost 24 hours later, he had a feeling someone was watching me.

"I stopped and looked around and there was Nicki, but I didn't recognise her," he said.

She had blast residue all over her body, her right arm was very badly burnt and swollen, and she was yet to be seen by doctor.

Morgan found a doctor who decided urgent surgery was needed.

"He said 'if I don't do it she's going to lose the arm'," he said.

"It was a procedure to relieve the pressure. What that entailed was running a razor blade from the top of her shoulder down to her elbow, and from her elbow down to her wrist. Then across the back of her hand and her fingers to get the fluids out."

Once again, there was no anaesthetic.

He vividly remembers staring face-to-face with his colleague, and talking to her intently as the doctor ran the razorblade through her skin.

A fleeting moment, a smell, a crowded room and even Balinese architecture triggers flashbacks for Morgan ever since those attacks.

"I might go weeks or months without thinking about it, and then something will come in my mind," he said.

Morgan talks openly about his PTSD, but there were many, many years where he would not talk about how he was struggling.

"Twenty years ago the stigma surrounding mental health was huge and it was a career-stopper if you chose to speak about it," he said.

These days, talking about what happened is still tough, and as the 20th anniversary of the Bali bombings approaches, he's keen to put those memories to the side for good.

"I'm anticipating this will be the end of it for me, I'll put it in a box the best I can and probably not talk about it," he said.

Frank Morgan is among the current and former AFP members who are featured on new podcast, Operation Alliance: 2002 Bali Bombings, which relives one of the most significant moments in Australia's history.