He wasn’t talking about me. At least, I don’t think he was. I haven’t heard any more from him, so I presume I’m safe.

I looked up my big dictionary and it said the expression “guts for garters” was “a hyperbolical threat”. This expression, in print, was found in 1582 when Robert Greene writing about the history of James 4 said “he makes garters of thy guttes, thou villain”. Then a few years later Ben Johnson said “I will garter my hose with your guttes”. They weren’t referring to the common old garden hose that we trip over, but to the types of stockings that men wore in those days.

The expression “guts for garters” occupied much of our language, from “he hoped to have the parson’s guts to garter his hose with” to “I’ll ‘ave yer guts for garters” used in Cornhill Magazine in March of 1933.

But what about garter?

It started me thinking about the word garter and why it finds its place in much of our everyday conversation.

It is described as a band worn around the leg, either above or below the knee, to keep the stocking from falling down. It had many variations in spelling, but described the bend of the knee in humans. The Welsh had a word gar that represented the ham or leg bone.

I like the story of Edward III about the year 1344.

Stop me if you’ve heard it. But the king about that year was ­dancing with the Countess of Salisbury and her garter fell to the floor. It was a bit like losing your knickers in front of everybody.

Well, the king leant over, picked up the garter and put it on his own leg making the comment “honi soit qui mal y pense”, which roughly translated means “shame on you for thinking badly of it”.

A short time later the good king instituted the Most Noble Order of the Garter, which has the colours of dark blue and gold and – wait for it – is worn below the left knee.

The Most Noble Order of the Garter is said to be the third most prestigious order in England, behind the Victoria Cross and the George Cross.

Foundation members were King Edward (well, you should have some perks of office) and 15 founder knights.

Maggie Thatcher and Winston Churchill were given it, along with the Emperor of Japan, Hirohito, the Queen Mum and a few Australians. I won’t mention them, because I am sure to miss a couple.

But if you happen to get the nod, I presume you will be expected to wear the garter where everyone can see it.

If it makes you look a bit of a dill, don’t blame me.

The word garter has many other uses. It led to the Knights of the Order of the Holy Ghost in France. But then you have other expressions, including a garter snake.

Then we had the bridal garter. In the old days things were not as civilised as they are now. In later years the groom took off the bride’s garter – as a substitute for an all-in exercise – and now the bride throws the garter and hopes somebody else catches it.

The story’s a bit crude, but you can fill in the missing bits.

lauriebarber.com; lbword@midcoast.com.au.